diff --git a/cah/data/deck.json b/cah/data/deck.json index fd2cf0a..208bf32 100644 --- a/cah/data/deck.json +++ b/cah/data/deck.json @@ -53,7 +53,7 @@ "pick":1 }, { - "text":"What's the next Happy Meal® toy?", + "text":"What's the next Happy Meal toy?", "pick":1 }, { @@ -97,7 +97,7 @@ "pick":1 }, { - "text":"War!

What is it good for?", + "text":"War! What is it good for?", "pick":1 }, { @@ -269,7 +269,7 @@ "pick":2 }, { - "text":"Lifetime® presents _, the story of _.", + "text":"Lifetime presents _, the story of _.", "pick":2 }, { @@ -305,7 +305,7 @@ "pick":2 }, { - "text":"Dear Abby,

I'm having some trouble with _ and would like your advice.", + "text":"Dear Abby, I'm having some trouble with _ and would like your advice.", "pick":1 }, { @@ -333,7 +333,7 @@ "pick":2 }, { - "text":"Here is the church
Here is the steeple
Open the doors
And there is _.", + "text":"Here is the church... Here is the steeple... Open the doors... And there is _.", "pick":1 }, { @@ -341,7 +341,7 @@ "pick":1 }, { - "text":"During his childhood, Salvador Dalí produced hundreds of paintings of _.", + "text":"During his childhood, Salvador Dali produced hundreds of paintings of _.", "pick":1 }, { @@ -359,6 +359,886 @@ { "text":"Daddy, why is Mommy crying?", "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"An international tribunal has found _ guilty of _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for _!", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Dear Sir or Madam, We regret to inform you that the Office of _ has denied your request for _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"He who controls _ controls the world.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"In a pinch, _ can be a suitable substitute for _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"In his new self-produced album, Kanye West raps over the sounds of _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"In its new tourism campaign, Detroit proudly proclaims that it has finally eliminated _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"In Rome, there are whisperings that the Vatican has a secret room devoted to _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"In the distant future, historians will agree that _ marked the beginning of America's decline.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits _ against _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"My plan for world domination begins with _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Next season on Man vs, Wild, Bear Grylls must survive the depths of the Amazon with only _ and his wits.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Science will never explain _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Science will never explain the origin of _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"The CIA now interrogates enemy agents by repeatedly subjecting them to _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"The secret to a lasting marriage is communication, communication, and _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"The socialist governments of Scandinavia have declared that access to _ is a basic human right.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"This season on Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls must survive in the depths of the", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Amazon with only _ and his wits.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"What brought the orgy to a grinding halt?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"What's the gift that keeps on giving?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"When all else fails, I can always masturbate to _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"When I pooped, what came out of my butt?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"_ would be woefully incomplete without _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"After months of debate, the Occupy Wall Street General Assembly could only agree on \"More _!\"", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Before _, all we had was _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"Before I run for president, I must destroy all evidence of my involvement with _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Charades was ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Everyone down on the ground! We don't want to hurt anyone. We're just here for _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I spent my whole life working toward _, only to have it ruined by _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"I went from _ to _, all thanks to _.", + "pick":3 + }, + { + "text":"If God didn't want us to enjoy _, he wouldn't have given us _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"In his newest and most difficult stunt, David Blaine must escape from _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Members of New York's social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"My mom freaked out when she looked at my browser history and found _.com\/_.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"My new favorite porn star is Joey \"_\" McGee.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Next time on Dr. Phil: How to talk to your child about _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Only two things in life are certain: death and _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, _, acceptance.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"The healing process began when I joined a support group for victims of _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"The votes are in, and the new high school mascot is _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"This month's Cosmo: \"Spice up your sex life by bringing _ into the bedroom.\"", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Tonight on 20\/20: What you don't know about _ could kill you.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"You haven't truly lived until you've experienced _ and _ at the same time.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"A remarkable new study has shown that chimps have evolved their own primitive version of _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"What's harshing my mellow, man?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Your persistence is admirable, my dear Prince. But you cannot win my heart with _ alone.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"In the seventh circle of Hell, sinners must endure _ for all eternity.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Lovin' you is easy 'cause you're _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"My life is ruled by a vicious cycle of _ and _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"The blind date was going horribly until we discovered our shared interest in _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"_. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I'm not like the rest of you. I'm too rich and busy for _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"_: Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for _!", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"What left this stain on my couch?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Call the law offices of Goldstein & Goldstein, because no one should have to tolerate _ in the workplace.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"When you get right down to it, _ is just _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"Turns out that _-Man was neither the hero we needed nor wanted.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"As part of his daily regimen, Anderson Cooper sets aside 15 minutes for _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"With enough time and pressure, _ will turn into _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"And what did you bring for show and tell?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"During high school I never really fit in until I found _ club.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Hey baby, come back to my place and I'll show you _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"After months of practice with _, I think I'm finally ready for _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"To prepare for his upcoming role, Daniel Day-Lewis immersed himself in the world of _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Finally! A service that delivers _ right to your door.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"My gym teacher got fired for adding _ to the obstacle course.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Having problems with _? Try _!", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"As part of his contract, Prince won't perform without _ in his dressing room.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Listen, son. If you want to get involved with _, I won't stop you. Just steer clear of _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"What's fun until it gets weird?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"In the beginning, there was _. And the Lord said, \"Let there be _.\"", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"_ will never be the same after _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow _ at the country club.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"How am I compensating for my tiny penis?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"You've seen the bearded lady! You've seen the ring of fire! Now, ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes upon _!", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"We never did find _, but along the way we sure learned a lot about _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"_ may pass, but _ will last forever.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"Dear Leader Kim Jong-un, our village praises your", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"infinite wisdom with a humble offering of _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Man, this is bullshit. Fuck _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on _, and then there's some stuff about _, and then it ends with _.", + "pick":3 + }, + { + "text":"In return for my soul, the Devil promised me _, but all I got was _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"The Japanese have developed a smaller, more efficient version of _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Alright, bros. Our frat house is condemned, and all the hot slampieces are over at Gamma Phi. That time has come to commence Operation _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"This is the prime of my life. I'm young, hot, and full of _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"If you can't handle _, you'd better stay away from _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"Forget everything you know about _, because now we've supercharged it with _!", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"Honey, I have a new role-play I want to try tonight!", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"You can be _, and I'll be _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"This year's hottest album is \"_\" by _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"Every step towards _ gets me a little bit closer to _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"Oprah's book of the month is \"_ For _: A Story of Hope.\"", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"Do not fuck with me! I am literally _ right now.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"2 AM in the city that never sleeps. The door swings open and she walks in, legs up to here. Something in her eyes tells me she's looking for _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"As king, how will I keep the peasants in line?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Adventure. Romance. _. From Paramount Pictures, \"_.\"", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"I am become _, destroyer of _!", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"And today's soup is Cream of _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Armani suit: $1,000. Dinner for two at that swanky restaurant: $300. The look on her face when you surprise her with _: priceless.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Do the Dew with our most extreme flavor yet! Get ready for Mountain Dew _!", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Do you lack energy? Does it sometimes feel like the whole world is _ ? Zoloft.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Don't forget! Beginning this week, Casual Friday will officially become \"_ Friday.\"", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Get ready for the movie of the summer! One cop plays by the book. The other's only interested in one thing: _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Having the worst day EVER. #_", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Heed my voice, mortals! I am the god of _ , and I will not tolerate _!", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"Help me doctor, I've got _ in my butt!", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Here at the Academy for Gifted Children, we all students to explore _ at their own pace.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into _, and I love to have a good time.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Hi, this is Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled \"_.\" Can you explain?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I don't mean to brag, but they call me the Micheal Jordan of _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"In his new action comedy, Jackie Chan must fend off ninjas while also dealing with _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Life's pretty tough in the fast lane. That's why I never leave the house without _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Now in bookstores: \"The Audacity of _\" by Barack Obama.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Patient presents with _ . Likely a result of _ .", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"Well if _ is good enough for _, it's good enough for me.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"What killed my boner?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"What's making things awkward in the sauna?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"WHOOO! God damn I love _!", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Why am I broke?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Yo' mama's so fat she _!", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I work my ass off all day for this family, and this what I come home to? _!?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I have a strict policy. First date, dinner. Second date, kiss. Third date, _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"When I was a kid we used to play Cowboys and _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"This is America. If you don't work hard, you don't succeed. I don't care if you're black, white, purple, or _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"You Won't Believe These 15 Hilarious _ Bloopers!", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Don't worry, kid. It gets better. I've been living with _ for 20 years.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"My grandfather worked his way up from nothing.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"When he came to this country, all he had was the shoes on his feet and _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Behind every powerful man is _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with _ every day.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy _ by the poolside.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"'This is madness!' 'No. THIS IS _!'", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Listen, Gary, I like you. But if you want that corner office, you're going to have to show me _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I went to the desert and ate of the peyote cactus.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Turns out my spirit animal is _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"And would you like those buffalo wings mild, hot, or _?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"The six things I could never do without: oxygen, facebook, chocolate, netflix, friends, and _ LOL!", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it _?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Puberty is a time of change. You might notice hair growing in new places. You might develop an interest in _. This is normal.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I'm sorry, Mrs. Chen, but there was nothing we could do. At 4:15 this morning, your son succumbed to _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I'm Miss Tennessee, and if I could make the world better by changing one thing, I would get rid of _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Tonight, we will have sex. And afterwards, if you'd like, a little bit of _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Everybody join hands and close your eyes. Do you sense that? That's the presence of _ in this room.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"To become a true Yanomamo warrior, you must prove that you can withstand _ without crying out.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Y'all ready to get this thing started? I'm Nick Cannon, and this is America's Got _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"If you had to describe me, the Card Czar, using only one of the cards in your hand, which one would it be?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Errbody in the club _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"The top Google auto-complete results for \"Barack Obama\": Barack Obama Height. Barack Obama net worth. Barack Obama _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Barack Obama Height.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Barack Obama net worth.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Barack Obama ___.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Son, take it from someone who's been around the block a few times. Nothin' puts her in the mood like _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Art isn't just a painting in a stuffy museum. Art is alive. Art is _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"You won't believe what's in my pussy. It's _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"What's the most problematic?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Feeling so grateful! #amazing #mylife #_.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"What's a total waste of Hillary Clinton's time?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"What's the gayest?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"_ be all like _.", + "pick":2 + }, + { + "text":"Girls just wanna have _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"One more thing. Watch out for Big Mike. They say he killed a man with _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Well, shit. My eyes ain't so good, but I'll eat my own boot if that ain't _!", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"If at first you don't succeed, try _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"What will end racism once and for all?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I'll take the BBQ bacon burger with friend egg and fuck it how about _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Well if _ is a crime, then lock me up!", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"We do not shake with our left hands in this country. That is the hand we use for _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"You know who else liked _? Hitler.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Poor Brandon, still living in his parent's basement. I heard he never got over _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"What totally destroyed my asshole?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I don't believe in God. I believe in _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Then the princess kissed the frog, and all of a sudden the frog was _!", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I got rhythm, I've got music, I've got _. Who could ask for anything more?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! I will NOT let _ ruin this wedding.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Coming to Red Lobster this month, _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Ooo, daddy like _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Best you go back where you came from, now. We don't take too kindly to _ in these parts.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Summer lovin', had me a blast. _, happened so fast.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"LSD + _ = really bad time.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"What are all those whales singing about?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"As Teddy Roosevelt said, the four manly virtues are honor, temperance, industry, and _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I tell you, it was a non-stop fuckfest. When it was over, my asshole looked like _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"What turned me into a Republican?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I'm sorry, sir, but your insurance plan doesn't cover injuries caused by _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Run, run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me, I'm _!", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"There is no God. It's just _ and then you die.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"She's just one of the guys, you know? She likes beer, and football, and _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"This Friday at the Liquid Lunge, it's _ Night! Ladies drink free.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"What sucks balls?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"I've had a horrible vision, father. I saw mountains crumbling, stars falling from the sky. I saw _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Oh no! Siri, how do I fix _?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Dance like there's nobody watching, love like you'll never be hurt, and live like you're _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Mom's to-do list: Buy Groceries Clean up ___. Soccer Practice.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Why am I laughing and crying and taking off my clothes?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"She's a lady in the streets, _ in the sheets.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"What's about to take dance floor to the next level?", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"CNN breaking news! Scientists discover _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Most Americans would not vote for a candidate who is openly _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Congratulations! You have been selected for our summer internship program. While we are unable to offer a salary, we can offer you _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"In the 1950s, psychologists prescribed _ as a cure for homosexually.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"As reparations for slavery, all African Americans will receive _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"With a one-time gift of just $10, you can save this child from _.", + "pick":1 + }, + { + "text":"Google Calendar alert: _ in 10 minutes.", + "pick":1 } ], "whiteCards":[ @@ -370,7 +1250,7 @@ "Pictures of boobs.", "Doing the right thing.", "The violation of our most basic human rights.", - "Viagra®.", + "Viagra.", "Self-loathing.", "Spectacular abs.", "A balanced breakfast.", @@ -479,7 +1359,7 @@ "Gandhi.", "Preteens.", "Toni Morrison's vagina.", - "Five-Dollar Footlongs™.", + "Five-Dollar Footlongs.", "Land mines.", "A sea of troubles.", "A zesty breakfast burrito.", @@ -497,7 +1377,7 @@ "Pixelated bukkake.", "Friends with benefits.", "The token minority.", - "The Tempur-Pedic® Swedish Sleep System™.", + "The Tempur-Pedic Swedish Sleep System.", "A thermonuclear detonation.", "Take-backsies.", "The Rapture.", @@ -522,7 +1402,7 @@ "Britney Spears at 55.", "All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99.", "Pooping back and forth. Forever.", - "Fancy Feast®.", + "Fancy Feast.", "Jewish fraternities.", "Being a motherfucking sorcerer.", "Pulling out.", @@ -550,7 +1430,7 @@ "Darth Vader.", "Eating the last known bison.", "Guys who don't call.", - "Hot Pockets®.", + "Hot Pockets.", "A time travel paradox.", "The milk man.", "Testicular torsion.", @@ -579,14 +1459,14 @@ "Getting really high.", "Attitude.", "Sarah Palin.", - "The Übermensch.", + "The Ubermensch.", "Altar boys.", "My soul.", "My sex life.", "Pedophiles.", "72 virgins.", "Pabst Blue Ribbon.", - "Domino's™ Oreo™ Dessert Pizza.", + "Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza.", "A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis.", "The Blood of Christ.", "Half-assed foreplay.", @@ -596,7 +1476,7 @@ "Bill Nye the Science Guy.", "Italians.", "A windmill full of corpses.", - "Adderall™.", + "Adderall.", "Crippling debt.", "A stray pube.", "Prancing.", @@ -653,7 +1533,7 @@ "The gays.", "Scientology.", "Estrogen.", - "GoGurt®.", + "GoGurt.", "Judge Judy.", "Dick fingers.", "Racism.", @@ -674,7 +1554,7 @@ "Third base.", "Racially-biased SAT questions.", "Porn stars.", - "A Super Soaker™ full of cat pee.", + "A Super Soaker full of cat pee.", "Muhammed (Praise Be Unto Him).", "Puberty.", "A disappointing birthday party.", @@ -691,7 +1571,7 @@ "A robust mongoloid.", "An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist.", "Getting drunk on mouthwash.", - "Lunchables™.", + "Lunchables.", "Women in yogurt commercials.", "John Wilkes Booth.", "Powerful thighs.", @@ -718,7 +1598,7 @@ "The miracle of childbirth.", "Finger painting.", "A monkey smoking a cigar.", - "The Make-A-Wish® Foundation.", + "The Make-A-Wish Foundation.", "Anal beads.", "The Force.", "Kamikaze pilots.", @@ -734,7 +1614,7 @@ "A mopey zoo lion.", "A defective condom.", "Teenage pregnancy.", - "A Bop It™.", + "A Bop It.", "Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.", "Horrifying laser hair removal accidents.", "Boogers.", @@ -765,10 +1645,10 @@ "Embryonic stem cells.", "Nicolas Cage.", "Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog.", - "Switching to Geico®.", + "Switching to Geico.", "The chronic.", "Erectile dysfunction.", - "Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine®.", + "Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine.", "A bucket of fish heads.", "50,000 volts straight to the nipples.", "Being fat and stupid.", @@ -821,6 +1701,734 @@ "Extremely tight pants.", "The Boy Scouts of America.", "Stormtroopers.", - "Throwing a virgin into a volcano." + "Throwing a virgin into a volcano.", + "24-hour media coverage", + "A beached whale.", + "A big black dick.", + "A bloody pacifier.", + "A crappy little hand.", + "A fat bald man from the internet.", + "A low standard of living.", + "A nuanced critique.", + "A panty raid.", + "A passionate Latino lover.", + "A plunger to the face.", + "A rival dojo.", + "A smiling black man, a latina businesswoman, a cool asian, and some whites.", + "A web of lies.", + "A woman scorned.", + "An atomic wedgie.", + "An Etsy steampunk strap-on.", + "An evil man in evil clothes.", + "AndrÈ the Giant's enormous, leathery scrotum.", + "Apologizing.", + "Appreciative snapping.", + "Ashton Kutcher.", + "Beating your wives.", + "Being a busy adult with many important things to do.", + "Being a dinosaur.", + "Blaxploitation.", + "Bosnian chicken farmers.", + "Breaking nip slip news.", + "Carnies.", + "Clams.", + "Clenched butt cheeks.", + "Coughing into a vagina.", + "Cutting.", + "Dancing with a broom.", + "Deflowering a princess.", + "Deflowering the princess.", + "Dorito breath.", + "Eating an albino.", + "Enormous Scandinavian women.", + "Fabricating statistics.", + "Finding a skeleton.", + "Gandalf.", + "Genetically engineered super-soldiers.", + "George Clooney's musk.", + "Getting abducted by Peter Pan.", + "Getting in her pants, politely.", + "Gladiatorial combat.", + "Good grammar.", + "having a penis", + "Hipsters.", + "Historical revisionism.", + "Insatiable bloodlust.", + "Jafar.", + "Jean-Claude Van Damme in slow motion.", + "Jean-Claude Van Damme.", + "Just the tip.", + "Leveling up.", + "Literally eating shit.", + "Mad hacky-sack skills.", + "Making the penises kiss.", + "Media coverage.", + "Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament.", + "Mom.", + "Moral ambiguity.", + "My machete.", + "Neil Patrick Harris.", + "NOOOOOOOOO!!!", + "Nubile slave boys.", + "Ominous background music.", + "One thousand Slim Jims.", + "Overpowering your father.", + "Panty raids.", + "Pistol-whipping a hostage.", + "Quiche.", + "Quivering jowls.", + "Revenge fucking.", + "Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart.", + "Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse.", + "Salvia.", + "Sanding off a man's nose.", + "Santa Claus.", + "Savagely beating a mascot", + "Scrotum tickling.", + "Sexual humiliation.", + "Sexy Siamese twins.", + "Shaft.", + "Slow motion.", + "Space muffins.", + "Statistically validated stereotypes.", + "Stockholm syndrome", + "Sudden Poop Explosion Disease.", + "Suicidal thoughts.", + "Syphilitic insanity", + "The boners of the elderly.", + "The economy.", + "The Fanta girls.", + "The four arms of Vishnu.", + "The gulags.", + "The harsh light of day.", + "The hiccups.", + "The ooze", + "The shambling corpse of Larry King.", + "This guy!", + "Tripping balls.", + "Walking in on Dad peeing into Mom's mouth.", + "Words, words, words.", + "Zeus's sexual appetites.", + "A 55-gallon drum of lube.", + "A bigger, blacker dick.", + "A Burmese tiger pit.", + "A dollop of sour cream.", + "A fortuitous turnip harvest.", + "A magic hippie love cloud.", + "A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings.", + "A piÒata full of scorpions", + "A sad fat dragon with no friends.", + "A slightly shittier parallel universe.", + "A sofa that says \"I have style, but I like to be comfortable.\"", + "A soulful rendition of \"Ol' Man River.\"", + "A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles.", + "A sweaty, panting leather daddy.", + "A sweet spaceship.", + "All of this blood.", + "An army of skeletons.", + "An ether-soaked rag.", + "An unhinged ferris wheel rolling toward the sea.", + "Another shot of morphine.", + "Basic human decency.", + "Beefin' over turf.", + "Being awesome at sex.", + "Boris the Soviet Love Hammer.", + "Bullshit.", + "Catastrophic urethral trauma.", + "Crushing Mr. Peanut's brittle body.", + "Daddy's belt.", + "Death by Steven Seagal.", + "Dennis the Menace.", + "Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of \"Friends.\"", + "Double penetration.", + "Existing.", + "Fetal alcohol syndrome.", + "Finding Waldo.", + "Fuck Mountain.", + "Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group.", + "Grandpa's ashes.", + "Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content.", + "Hillary Clinton's death stare.", + "Intimacy problems.", + "Jeff Goldblum.", + "Living in a trashcan.", + "Loki, the trickster god.", + "Making a friend.", + "Maximal insertion.", + "Me.", + "Mild autism.", + "Mooing.", + "My first kill.", + "Nunchuck moves.", + "Oncoming traffic.", + "One Ring to rule them all.", + "Power", + "Pretty Pretty Princess Board Game.", + "Pumping out a baby every nine months.", + "Rising from the grave.", + "Scrotal frostbite.", + "Some really fucked-up shit.", + "Special musical guest, Cher.", + "Spring break!", + "Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.", + "Survivor's guilt.", + "Swiftly achieving orgasm.", + "Taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes.", + "The black Power Ranger", + "The corporations.", + "The day the birds attacked.", + "The Google.", + "The grey nutrient broth that sustains Mitt Romney.", + "The human body.", + "The mere concept of Applebee's.", + "The mixing of the races.", + "The new Radiohead album.", + "Tiny nipples.", + "Tongue.", + "Upgrading homeless people to mobile hotspots.", + "Weapons-grade plutonium.", + "Wearing an octopus for a hat.", + "Whining like a little bitch.", + "Whipping a disobedient slave.", + "That ass.", + "Nothing.", + "Shutting the fuck up.", + "The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now.", + "A cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus.", + "Cock.", + "A cop who is also a dog.", + "Dying alone and in pain.", + "Gay aliens.", + "The way white people is.", + "Reverse cowgirl.", + "The Quesadilla Explosion Salad from Chili's.", + "Actually getting shot, for real.", + "Not having sex.", + "Vietnam flashbacks.", + "Running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere.", + "Warm, velvety muppet sex.", + "Self-flagellation.", + "The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life.", + "Samuel L. Jackson.", + "A boo-boo.", + "Going around punching people.", + "The entire Internet.", + "Some kind of bird-man.", + "Chugging a lava lamp.", + "Having sex on top of a pizza.", + "Indescribable loneliness.", + "An ass disaster.", + "All my friends dying.", + "Putting an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR.", + "Spending lots of money.", + "Some douche with an acoustic guitar.", + "Flying robots that kill people.", + "A greased-up Matthew McConaughey.", + "An unstoppable wave of fire ants.", + "Not contributing to society in any meaningful way.", + "An all-midget production of Shakespeare's Richard III.", + "Screaming like a maniac.", + "The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth.", + "Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding.", + "Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks.", + "Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath.", + "Velcro.", + "A PowerPoint presentation.", + "A surprising amount of hair.", + "Eating Tom Selleck's mustache to gain his powers.", + "Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king.", + "A pile of squirming bodies.", + "Buying the right pants to be, cool.", + "Blood farts.", + "Three months in the hole.", + "A botched circumcision.", + "The Land of Chocolate.", + "Slapping a racist old lady.", + "A lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint.", + "Jumping out at people.", + "A black male in his early 20s, last seen wearing a hoodie.", + "Mufasa's death scene.", + "Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone.", + "Demonic possession.", + "The Harlem Globetrotters.", + "Vomiting mid-blowjob.", + "My manservant, Claude.", + "Having shotguns for legs.", + "Letting everyone down.", + "A spontaneous conga line.", + "A vagina that leads to another dimension.", + "Disco fever.", + "Getting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick.", + "Fisting.", + "The thin veneer of situational causality that underlies porn.", + "Girls that always be textin'.", + "Blowing some dudes in an alley.", + "Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs to get fifty continuous hours of energy.", + "Sneezing, farting, and coming at the same time.", + "A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans.", + "A sex goblin with a carnival penis.", + "Lots and lots of abortions.", + "Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other.", + "Sharks with legs.", + "A sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness.", + "How awesome I am.", + "Smoking crack, for instance.", + "A dance move that's just sex.", + "A hopeless amount of spiders.", + "Drinking responsibly.", + "Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of the night.", + "Bouncing up and down.", + "A shiny rock that proves I love you.", + "Crazy opium eyes.", + "Moderate-to-severe joint pain.", + "Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers.", + "The complex geopolitical quagmire that is the Middle East.", + "Finally finishing off the Indians.", + "Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits.", + "No clothes on, penis in vagina.", + "Whispering all sexy.", + "A horse with no legs.", + "Depression.", + "Almost giving money to a homeless person.", + "Interspecies marriage.", + "Blackula.", + "What Jesus would do.", + "A manhole.", + "My dad's dumb fucking face.", + "A Ugandan warlord.", + "My worthless son.", + "A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world.", + "A kiss on the lips.", + "A fart.", + "The peaceful and nonthreatening rise of China.", + "Snorting coke off a clown's boner.", + "Three consecutive seconds of happiness.", + "Falling into the toilet.", + "Ass to mouth.", + "Some sort of Asian.", + "The size of my penis.", + "The safe word.", + "Party Mexicans.", + "Ambiguous sarcasm.", + "Jizz.", + "An interracial handshake.", + "Incredible Facts About the Anus.", + "The secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction.", + "Sugar madness.", + "Calculating every mannerism so as not to suggest homosexuality.", + "Fucking a corpse back to life.", + "All the single ladies.", + "Whatever a McRib is made of.", + "Africa.", + "The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter.", + "Khakis.", + "A gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry.", + "Stuffing a child's face with Fun Dip until he starts having fun.", + "A for-real lizard that spits blood from its eyes.", + "The tiniest shred of evidence that God is real.", + "Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa.", + "Dem titties.", + "Exploding pigeons.", + "My sex dungeon.", + "Child Protective Services.", + "Doo-doo.", + "Sports.", + "Unquestioning obedience.", + "Grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis.", + "40 acres and a mule.", + "A crazy little thing called love.", + "A disappointing salad.", + "A face full of horse cum.", + "A giant powdery manbaby.", + "A mouthful of potato salad.", + "A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana.", + "A powered exoskeleton.", + "A reason not to commit suicide.", + "A team of lawyers.", + "A whole new kind of porn.", + "A zero-risk way to make $2,000 from home.", + "AIDS monkeys.", + "All these decorative pillows.", + "An unforgettable quinceanera.", + "An uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation.", + "Anal fissures like you wouldn't believe.", + "Ancient Athenian boy-fucking.", + "Backwards knees.", + "Being nine years old.", + "Being paralyzed from the neck down.", + "Being worshiped as the one true God.", + "Blackface.", + "Blowjobs for everyone.", + "Boring Vaginal sex.", + "Butt stuff.", + "Changing a person's mind with logic and facts.", + "Child support payments.", + "Cutting off a flamingo's legs with garden shears.", + "Daddy's credit card.", + "Deez nuts.", + "Denzel.", + "Doing the right stuff to her nipples.", + "Ejaculating live bees and the bees are angry.", + "Ennui.", + "Figuring out how to have sex with a dolphin.", + "Free ice cream, yo.", + "Genghis Khan's DNA.", + "Getting caught by the police and going to jail.", + "Getting drive-by shot.", + "Getting eaten alive by Guy Fieri.", + "Giant sperm from outer space.", + "Going to a high school reunion on ketamine.", + "Having been dead a while.", + "Mom's new boyfriend.", + "My boyfriends stupid penis.", + "My dead son's baseball glove.", + "My first period.", + "Not believing in giraffes.", + "Oil!", + "Out-of-this-world bazongas.", + "P.F. Chang himself.", + "Russian super-tuberculosis.", + "Seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes.", + "Seeing things from Hitler's perspective.", + "September 11th, 2001.", + "Slowly easing down onto a cucumber.", + "Social justice warriors with flamethrowers of compassion.", + "Some shit-hot guitar licks.", + "The Abercrombie & Fitch lifestyle.", + "The basic suffering that pervades all of existence.", + "The eight gay warlocks who dictate the rules of fashion.", + "The ghost of Marlon Brando.", + "The inability to form meaningful relationships.", + "The passage of time.", + "The swim team, all at once.", + "The tiger that killed my father.", + "The unbelievable world of mushrooms.", + "The black half of Barack Obama.", + "The white half of Barack Obama.", + "Too much cocaine.", + "Unrelenting genital punishment.", + "Vegetarian options.", + "Wearing glasses and sounding smart.", + "Western standards of beauty.", + "A bass drop so huge it tears the starry vault asunder to reveal the face of God.", + "Growing up chained to a radiator in perpetual darkness.", + "Shitting all over the floor like a bad, bad girl.", + "A buttload of candy.", + "Sucking all the milk out of a yak.", + "Bullets.", + "A man who is so cool that he rides on a motorcycle.", + "Sudden penis loss.", + "Getting all offended.", + "Crying and shitting and eating spaghetti.", + "One unforgettable night of passion.", + "Being popular and good at sports.", + "Filling a man's anus with concrete.", + "Two whales fucking the shit out of each other.", + "Cool, relatable cancer teens.", + "The amount of gay I am.", + "A possible Muslim.", + "Unsheathing my massive horse cock.", + "A bowl of gourds.", + "The male gaze.", + "The power of the Dark Side.", + "Ripping a dog in half.", + "A constant need for validation.", + "Meaningless sex.", + "Such a big boy.", + "Throwing stones at a man until he dies.", + "Cancer.", + "Like a million alligators.", + "Eating together like a god damn family for once.", + "Cute boys.", + "Pussy.", + "Being a terrible mother.", + "Never having sex again.", + "A pizza guy who fucked up.", + "A whole lotta woman.", + "The all-new Nissan Pathfinder with 0.9% APR financing!", + "A peyote-fueled vision quest.", + "Kale.", + "Breastfeeding a ten year old.", + "Crippling social anxiety.", + "Immortality cream.", + "Texas.", + "Teaching a girl how to handjob the penis.", + "A turd.", + "Shapes and colors.", + "Whatever you wish, mother.", + "The haunting stare of an Iraqi child.", + "Robots who just want to party.", + "A self-microwaving burrito.", + "Forgetting grandma's first name.", + "Our new Buffalo Chicken Dippers!", + "Treasures beyond your wildest dreams.", + "Getting shot out of a cannon.", + "The sweet song of sword against sword and the braying of mighty war beasts.", + "Walking into a glass door.", + "The color \"puce.\"", + "Every ounce of charisma left in Mick Jagger's tired body.", + "The eighth graders.", + "Setting my balls on fire and cartwheeling to Ohio.", + "The dentist.", + "Gwyneth Paltrow's opinions.", + "Turning the rivers red with the blood of infidels.", + "Rabies.", + "Important news about Taylor Swift.", + "Ejaculating inside another man's wife.", + "Owls, the perfect predator.", + "Being John Malkovich.", + "Bathing in moonsblood and dancing around the ancient oak.", + "An oppressed people with a vibrant culture.", + "An overwhelming variety of cheeses.", + "Reading the entire End-User License Agreement.", + "Morpheus.", + "Peeing into a girl's butt to make a baby.", + "Generally having no idea what's going on.", + "No longer finding any Cards Against Humanity card funny.", + "Content.", + "Fucking me good and taking me to Red Lobster.", + "Self-identifying as a DJ.", + "Getting high with mom.", + "Beyonce.", + "Gazpacho.", + "Discovering that what I really want in life is to kill people and have sex with their corpses.", + "A man with the head of a goat and the body of a goat.", + "How good lead paint taste.", + "Dropping dead in a Sbarro's bathroom and not being found for 72 hours.", + "Eating too many Cinnabons and then vomiting and then eating the vomit.", + "Some of that good dick.", + "Two shitty kids and a garbage husband.", + "Pooping in the potty.", + "Bad emotions I don't want.", + "Mixing M&Ms and Skittles like some kind of psychopath.", + "Fucking my therapist.", + "The best, deepest quotes from The Dark Knight.", + "Meatloaf, the man.", + "Meatloaf, the food.", + "My huge penis and substantial fortune.", + "Hot lettuce.", + "It being too late to stop having sex with a horse.", + "Becoming the President of the United States.", + "Microaggressions.", + "Getting the Dorito crumbs out of my purse.", + "The sweet, forbidden meat of the monkey.", + "Consensual, nonreproductive incest.", + "Grunting for ten minutes and then peeing sand.", + "Prematurely ejaculating like a total loser.", + "Jazz.", + "Straight blazin' 24/7.", + "Having sex with a beautiful person.", + "Going around pulling people's tampons out.", + "Reaching an age where barbecue chips are better than sex.", + "Daddy going away forever.", + "Three hours of nonstop penetration.", + "Holding the proper political beliefs of my time to attract a mate.", + "Scissoring, if that's a thing.", + "Creamy slices of real, California avocado.", + "ISIS.", + "A weird guy who says weird stuff and weirds me out.", + "Rubbing my bush all over your bald head.", + "Farting all over my face with your tight little asshole.", + "Quinoa.", + "How sad it will be when Morgan Freeman dies.", + "A cheerfulness that belies a deep-seated self-loathing.", + "Farting a huge shit out of my pussy.", + "Defeating a gorilla in single combat.", + "A big ol' plate of fettuccine alfredo.", + "Brunch.", + "Anal.", + "A women's perspective.", + "A long business meeting with no obvious purpose.", + "Thinking about what eating even is.", + "Doing a somersault and barfing.", + "Trees.", + "Hating Jews.", + "Whooping your ass at Mario Kart.", + "A massive collection of child pornography.", + "Systems and policies designed to preserve centuries-old power structures.", + "Having an awesome time drinking and driving.", + "Muchin' puss.", + "Moon people.", + "Picking up a glass of water and taking a sip and being the president.", + "Critical thinking.", + "Showing all the boys my pussy.", + "Homework.", + "China.", + "Putting more black people in jail.", + "The ol' penis-in-the-popcorn surprise.", + "One of them big-city Jew lawyers.", + "Informing you that I am a registered sex offender.", + "Rolling so hard.", + "Who really did 9\/11.", + "Being turned into sausages.", + "Eating ass.", + "A dolphin that learns to talk and becomes the Dead of Harvard Law School.", + "Gay thoughts.", + "My dog dying.", + "Dominating a man by peeing on his eldest son.", + "Dis bitch.", + "A strong horse and enough rations for thirty days.", + "Feminism.", + "A cold and indifferent universe.", + "An incurable homosexual.", + "The amount of baby carrots I can fit up my ass.", + "Huge big balls full of jizz.", + "Gregor, my largest son.", + "Esmeralda, my most beautiful daughter.", + "Trevor, the world's greatest boyfriend.", + "Jason, the teen mayor.", + "That bitch, Stacy.", + "Gayle from HR.", + "Gary.", + "Just now finding out about the Armenian Genocide.", + "Opening your mouth to talk and a big penis fops out.", + "Twisting my cock and balls into a balloon poodle.", + "The wind.", + "A gun that shoots cobras.", + "Out-of-control teenage blowjob parties.", + "A black friend.", + "The body of a 46-year-old man.", + "Art.", + "Water.", + "Doritos and a Fruit Roll-Up.", + "Sucking each other's penises for hours on end.", + "10,000 shrieking teenage girls.", + "Whomsoever let the dogs out.", + "The chicken from Popeyes.", + "Assassinating the president.", + "Having sex with a man and then eating his head.", + "A burrito that's just sour cream.", + "An arrangement wherein I give a person money they have sex with me.", + "Facilitating dialogue and deconstructing binaries.", + "Taking the form of a falcon.", + "Watching you die.", + "An X-Man whose power is that he has sex with dogs and children.", + "Loud, scary thunder.", + "Every man's ultimate fantasy: a perfectly cylindrical vagina.", + "Tiny, rancid girl farts.", + "Math.", + "Founding a major world religion.", + "Plowing that ass like a New England corn farmer.", + "Period poops.", + "The feeling of going to McDonald's as a 6-year-old.", + "Misogyny.", + "Tables.", + "Feeling the emotion of anger.", + "One of those \"blow jobs\" I've been hearing so much about.", + "A creepy child singing a nursery rhyme.", + "Blossoming into a beautiful young woman.", + "The secret to truly resilient hair.", + "Rock-hard tits and a huge vagina.", + "The lived experience of African Americans.", + "Mental illness.", + "Getting eaten out by a dog.", + "10 football players with erections barreling towards you at full speed.", + "Starting a shitty podcast.", + "Overthrowing the democratically-elected government of Chile.", + "Guns.", + "A hug.", + "Getting aborted.", + "Crazy anal orgasms.", + "Getting this party started!", + "Being sexually attracted to children.", + "Antidepressants.", + "Getting trapped in a conversation about Ayn Rand.", + "Swearing praise upon the Sultan's hideous daughters.", + "Turning 32.", + "Sudden and unwanted slam poetry.", + "A negative body image that is totally justified.", + "Exploring each other's buttholes.", + "You.", + "Quacking like a duck in lieu of a cogent argument.", + "Catching a live salmon in your mouth.", + "Eating people.", + "Our baby.", + "Breastfeeding in public like a radiant earth goddess.", + "Big, smart money boys tap-tapping on their keyboards.", + "Finding a nice elevator to poop in.", + "The mysterious fog rolling into town.", + "Two beautiful pig sisters.", + "Condoleezza Rice.", + "The full force of the American military.", + "A woman's right to choose.", + "A terrified fat child who won't come out of the bushes.", + "A medium horchata.", + "How great my ass looks in these jeans.", + "Raising three kids on minimum wage.", + "The bond between a woman and her horse.", + "Slamming a dunk.", + "Chris Hemsworth.", + "Ejaculating at the apex of a cartwheel.", + "Child labor.", + "An older man.", + "Crushing the patriarchy.", + "Denying the Holocaust.", + "Falling into a pit of waffles.", + "Objectifying women.", + "Everything.", + "A creature made of penises that must constantly arouse itself to survive.", + "Getting blasted in the face by a t-shirt cannon.", + "Onions.", + "Dumpster juice.", + "Forty-five minutes of finger blasting.", + "Film roles for actresses over 40.", + "Having sex with your mom.", + "Having a vagina.", + "Regurgitating a half-digested sparrow.", + "The hottest MILF in Dallas.", + "Some real spicy shrimps.", + "The Rwandan Genocide.", + "The LGBT community.", + "Twenty bucks.", + "The full blown marginalization of ugly people.", + "A finger up the butt.", + "A big, beautiful mouth packed to the brim with sparkling teeth.", + "Getting laid like all the time.", + "Happy daddies with happy sandals.", + "Libertarians.", + "Late-stage dementia.", + "How strange it is to be anything at all.", + "Pooping in a leotard and hoping no one notices.", + "Restoring Germany to its former glory.", + "Participating.", + "Going to bed at a reasonable hour.", + "Smashing my balls at the moment of climax.", + "Making out and stuff.", + "Menopause.", + "The government.", + "The graceful path of an autumn leaf as it falls to its earthen cradle.", + "Tender chunks of all-white-meat chicken.", + "Twenty cheerleaders laughing at your tiny penis.", + "Mommy and daddy fighting all the time.", + "Playing my asshole like a trumpet.", + "Getting naked too soon.", + "A slowly encroaching circle of wolves.", + "A man in a suit with perfect hair who tells you beautiful lies.", + "Seizing control of the means of production.", + "Comprehensive immigration reform.", + "Awesome pictures of planets and stuff.", + "Aborting the shit out of a fetus.", + "A genetic predisposition for alcoholism.", + "The flaming wreckage of the International Space Station.", + "Waking up inside of a tornado.", + "When the big truck goes \"Toot! Toot!\"", + "The fear and hatred in men's hearts.", + "Getting killed and dragged up a tree by a leopard.", + "Eternal screaming madness.", + "My brother's hot friends.", + "Salsa Night at Dave's Cantina.", + "The clown that followed me home from the grocery store.", + "Watching a hot person eat.", + "Pretending to be one of the guys but actually being the spider god.", + "Getting pegged.", + "An empowered woman.", + "An old dog full of tumors.", + "A duffel bag full of lizards.", + "All these people I've killed.", + "Working so hard to have muscles and then having them.", + "Political correctness.", + "A tiny fireman who puts out tiny fires.", + "Albert Einstein but if he had a huge muscles and a rhinoceros cock.", + "Chipotle." ] -} \ No newline at end of file +}