826 lines
24 KiB
JSON
826 lines
24 KiB
JSON
{
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"blackCards":[
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{
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"text":"Why can't I sleep at night?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"I got 99 problems but _ ain't one.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What's a girl's best friend?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What's that smell?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"This is the way the world ends \/ This is the way the world ends \/ Not with a bang but with _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What is Batman's guilty pleasure?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"TSA guidelines now prohibit _ on airplanes.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What ended my last relationship?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"I drink to forget _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What's that sound?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What's the next Happy Meal® toy?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"It's a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with _ for the first time.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"_. That's how I want to die.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What does Dick Cheney prefer?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What's the most emo?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"White people like _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"_. Betcha can't have just one!",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"War!<br><br>What is it good for?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"BILLY MAYS HERE FOR _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"_. High five, bro.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"During sex, I like to think about _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What did I bring back from Mexico?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What are my parents hiding from me?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What will always get you laid?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What helps Obama unwind?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What's there a ton of in heaven?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"Major League Baseball has banned _ for giving players an unfair advantage.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What's the new fad diet?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"When I am the President of the United States, I will create the Department of _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"_. It's a trap!",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"How am I maintaining my relationship status?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What will I bring back in time to convince people that I am a powerful wizard?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"Coming to Broadway this season, _: The Musical.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What's my secret power?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What gives me uncontrollable gas?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What never fails to liven up the party?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What am I giving up for Lent?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What do old people smell like? ",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"The class field trip was completely ruined by _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"When Pharaoh remained unmoved, Moses called down a plague of _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"I do not know with which weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What's Teach for America using to inspire inner city students to succeed?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"In Michael Jackson's final moments, he thought about _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"Why do I hurt all over?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"Studies show that lab rats navigate mazes 50% faster after being exposed to _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"Why am I sticky?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What's my anti-drug?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"And the Academy Award for _ goes to _.",
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"pick":2
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},
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{
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"text":"For my next trick, I will pull _ out of _.",
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"pick":2
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},
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{
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"text":"_: Good to the last drop.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What did Vin Diesel eat for dinner?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"_: kid-tested, mother-approved.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What gets better with age?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"I never truly understood _ until I encountered _.",
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"pick":2
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},
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{
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"text":"Rumor has it that Vladimir Putin's favorite delicacy is _ stuffed with _.",
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"pick":2
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},
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{
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"text":"Lifetime® presents _, the story of _.",
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"pick":2
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},
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{
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"text":"Make a haiku.",
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"pick":3
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},
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{
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"text":"In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that _ had really been _ all along.",
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"pick":2
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},
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{
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"text":"_ is a slippery slope that leads to _.",
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"pick":2
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},
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{
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"text":"In a world ravaged by _, our only solace is _.",
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"pick":2
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},
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{
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"text":"That's right, I killed _. How, you ask? _.",
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"pick":2
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},
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{
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"text":"When I was tripping on acid, _ turned into _.",
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"pick":2
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},
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{
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"text":"_ + _ = _.",
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"pick":3
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},
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{
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"text":"What's the next superhero\/sidekick duo?",
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"pick":2
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},
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{
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"text":"Dear Abby,<br><br>I'm having some trouble with _ and would like your advice.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought _ to the people of Haiti.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"In L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"Life for American Indians was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"Next on ESPN2, the World Series of _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"Step 1: _. Step 2: _. Step 3: Profit.",
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"pick":2
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},
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{
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"text":"Here is the church<br>Here is the steeple<br>Open the doors<br>And there is _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"How did I lose my virginity?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"During his childhood, Salvador Dalí produced hundreds of paintings of _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"What don't you want to find in your Kung Pao chicken?",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"The Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has just opened an exhibit on _.",
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"pick":1
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},
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{
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"text":"Daddy, why is Mommy crying?",
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"pick":1
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}
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],
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"whiteCards":[
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"Coat hanger abortions.",
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"Man meat.",
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"Autocannibalism.",
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"Vigorous jazz hands.",
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"Flightless birds.",
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"Pictures of boobs.",
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"Doing the right thing.",
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"The violation of our most basic human rights.",
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"Viagra®.",
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"Self-loathing.",
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"Spectacular abs.",
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"A balanced breakfast.",
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"Roofies.",
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"Concealing a boner.",
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"Amputees.",
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"The Big Bang.",
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"Former President George W. Bush.",
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"The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.",
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"Smegma.",
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"Being marginalized.",
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"Cuddling.",
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"Laying an egg.",
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"The Pope.",
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"Aaron Burr.",
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"Genital piercings.",
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"Fingering.",
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"A bleached asshole.",
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"Horse meat.",
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"Fear itself.",
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"Science.",
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"Elderly Japanese men.",
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"Stranger danger.",
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"The terrorists.",
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"Praying the gay away.",
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"Same-sex ice dancing.",
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"Ethnic cleansing.",
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"Cheating in the Special Olympics.",
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"German dungeon porn.",
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"Bingeing and purging.",
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"Making a pouty face.",
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"William Shatner.",
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"Heteronormativity.",
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"Nickelback.",
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"Tom Cruise.",
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"The profoundly handicapped.",
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"The placenta.",
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"Chainsaws for hands.",
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"Arnold Schwarzenegger.",
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"An icepick lobotomy.",
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"Goblins.",
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"Object permanence.",
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"Dying.",
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"Foreskin.",
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"A falcon with a cap on its head.",
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"Hormone injections.",
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"Dying of dysentery.",
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"Sexy pillow fights.",
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"The invisible hand.",
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"A really cool hat.",
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"Sean Penn.",
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"Heartwarming orphans.",
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"The clitoris.",
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"The Three-Fifths compromise.",
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"A sad handjob.",
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"Men.",
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"Historically black colleges.",
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"A micropenis.",
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"Raptor attacks.",
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"Agriculture.",
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"Vikings.",
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"Pretending to care.",
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"The Underground Railroad.",
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"My humps.",
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"Being a dick to children.",
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"Geese.",
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"Bling.",
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"Sniffing glue.",
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"The South.",
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"An Oedipus complex.",
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"Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale.",
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"Sexting.",
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"YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.",
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"Mutually-assured destruction.",
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"Sunshine and rainbows.",
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"Count Chocula.",
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"Sharing needles.",
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"Being rich.",
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"Skeletor.",
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"A sausage festival.",
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"Michael Jackson.",
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"Emotions.",
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"Farting and walking away.",
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"The Chinese gymnastics team.",
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"Necrophilia.",
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"Spontaneous human combustion.",
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"Yeast.",
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"Leaving an awkward voicemail.",
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"Dick Cheney.",
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"White people.",
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"Penis envy.",
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"Teaching a robot to love.",
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"Sperm whales.",
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"Scrubbing under the folds.",
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"Panda sex.",
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"Whipping it out.",
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"Catapults.",
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"Masturbation.",
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"Natural selection.",
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"Opposable thumbs.",
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"A sassy black woman.",
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"AIDS.",
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"The KKK.",
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"Figgy pudding.",
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"Seppuku.",
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"Gandhi.",
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"Preteens.",
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"Toni Morrison's vagina.",
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"Five-Dollar Footlongs™.",
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"Land mines.",
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"A sea of troubles.",
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"A zesty breakfast burrito.",
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"Christopher Walken.",
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"Friction.",
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"Balls.",
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"Dental dams.",
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"A can of whoop-ass.",
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"A tiny horse.",
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"Waiting 'til marriage.",
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"Authentic Mexican cuisine.",
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"Genghis Khan.",
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"Old-people smell.",
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"Feeding Rosie O'Donnell.",
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"Pixelated bukkake.",
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"Friends with benefits.",
|
|
"The token minority.",
|
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"The Tempur-Pedic® Swedish Sleep System™.",
|
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"A thermonuclear detonation.",
|
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"Take-backsies.",
|
|
"The Rapture.",
|
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"A cooler full of organs.",
|
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"Sweet, sweet vengeance.",
|
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"RoboCop.",
|
|
"Keanu Reeves.",
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"Drinking alone.",
|
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"Giving 110%.",
|
|
"Flesh-eating bacteria.",
|
|
"The American Dream.",
|
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"Taking off your shirt.",
|
|
"Me time.",
|
|
"A murder most foul.",
|
|
"The inevitable heat death of the universe.",
|
|
"The folly of man.",
|
|
"That thing that electrocutes your abs.",
|
|
"Cards Against Humanity.",
|
|
"Fiery poops.",
|
|
"Poor people.",
|
|
"Edible underpants.",
|
|
"Britney Spears at 55.",
|
|
"All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99.",
|
|
"Pooping back and forth. Forever.",
|
|
"Fancy Feast®.",
|
|
"Jewish fraternities.",
|
|
"Being a motherfucking sorcerer.",
|
|
"Pulling out.",
|
|
"Picking up girls at the abortion clinic.",
|
|
"The homosexual agenda.",
|
|
"The Holy Bible.",
|
|
"Passive-agression.",
|
|
"Ronald Reagan.",
|
|
"Vehicular manslaughter.",
|
|
"Nipple blades.",
|
|
"Assless chaps.",
|
|
"Full frontal nudity.",
|
|
"Hulk Hogan.",
|
|
"Daddy issues.",
|
|
"The hardworking Mexican.",
|
|
"Natalie Portman.",
|
|
"Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot.",
|
|
"God.",
|
|
"Sean Connery.",
|
|
"Saxophone solos.",
|
|
"Gloryholes.",
|
|
"The World of Warcraft.",
|
|
"Homeless people.",
|
|
"Scalping.",
|
|
"Darth Vader.",
|
|
"Eating the last known bison.",
|
|
"Guys who don't call.",
|
|
"Hot Pockets®.",
|
|
"A time travel paradox.",
|
|
"The milk man.",
|
|
"Testicular torsion.",
|
|
"Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up.",
|
|
"World peace.",
|
|
"A salty surprise.",
|
|
"Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes.",
|
|
"Smallpox blankets.",
|
|
"Licking things to claim them as your own.",
|
|
"The heart of a child.",
|
|
"Robert Downey, Jr.",
|
|
"Lockjaw.",
|
|
"Eugenics.",
|
|
"A good sniff.",
|
|
"Friendly fire.",
|
|
"The taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge.",
|
|
"Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry.",
|
|
"Hurricane Katrina.",
|
|
"Free samples.",
|
|
"Jerking off into a pool of children's tears.",
|
|
"A foul mouth.",
|
|
"The glass ceiling.",
|
|
"Republicans.",
|
|
"Explosions.",
|
|
"Michelle Obama's arms.",
|
|
"Getting really high.",
|
|
"Attitude.",
|
|
"Sarah Palin.",
|
|
"The Übermensch.",
|
|
"Altar boys.",
|
|
"My soul.",
|
|
"My sex life.",
|
|
"Pedophiles.",
|
|
"72 virgins.",
|
|
"Pabst Blue Ribbon.",
|
|
"Domino's™ Oreo™ Dessert Pizza.",
|
|
"A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis.",
|
|
"The Blood of Christ.",
|
|
"Half-assed foreplay.",
|
|
"My collection of high-tech sex toys.",
|
|
"A middle-aged man on roller skates.",
|
|
"Bitches.",
|
|
"Bill Nye the Science Guy.",
|
|
"Italians.",
|
|
"A windmill full of corpses.",
|
|
"Adderall™.",
|
|
"Crippling debt.",
|
|
"A stray pube.",
|
|
"Prancing.",
|
|
"Passing a kidney stone.",
|
|
"A brain tumor.",
|
|
"Leprosy.",
|
|
"Puppies!",
|
|
"Bees?",
|
|
"Frolicking.",
|
|
"Repression.",
|
|
"Road head.",
|
|
"A bag of magic beans.",
|
|
"An asymmetric boob job.",
|
|
"Dead parents.",
|
|
"Public ridicule.",
|
|
"A mating display.",
|
|
"A mime having a stroke.",
|
|
"Stephen Hawking talking dirty.",
|
|
"African children.",
|
|
"Mouth herpes.",
|
|
"Overcompensation.",
|
|
"Riding off into the sunset.",
|
|
"Being on fire.",
|
|
"Tangled Slinkys.",
|
|
"Civilian casualties.",
|
|
"Auschwitz.",
|
|
"My genitals.",
|
|
"Not reciprocating oral sex.",
|
|
"Lactation.",
|
|
"Being fabulous.",
|
|
"Shaquille O'Neal's acting career.",
|
|
"My relationship status.",
|
|
"Asians who aren't good at math.",
|
|
"Alcoholism.",
|
|
"Incest.",
|
|
"Grave robbing.",
|
|
"Hope.",
|
|
"8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.",
|
|
"Kids with ass cancer.",
|
|
"Winking at old people.",
|
|
"The Jews.",
|
|
"Justin Bieber.",
|
|
"Doin' it in the butt.",
|
|
"A lifetime of sadness.",
|
|
"The Hamburglar.",
|
|
"Swooping.",
|
|
"Classist undertones.",
|
|
"New Age music.",
|
|
"Not giving a shit about the Third World.",
|
|
"The Kool-Aid Man.",
|
|
"A hot mess.",
|
|
"Tentacle porn.",
|
|
"Lumberjack fantasies.",
|
|
"The gays.",
|
|
"Scientology.",
|
|
"Estrogen.",
|
|
"GoGurt®.",
|
|
"Judge Judy.",
|
|
"Dick fingers.",
|
|
"Racism.",
|
|
"Surprise sex!",
|
|
"Police brutality.",
|
|
"Passable transvestites.",
|
|
"The Virginia Tech Massacre.",
|
|
"When you fart and a little bit comes out.",
|
|
"Oompa-Loompas.",
|
|
"A fetus.",
|
|
"Obesity.",
|
|
"Tasteful sideboob.",
|
|
"Hot people.",
|
|
"BATMAN!!!",
|
|
"Black people.",
|
|
"A gassy antelope.",
|
|
"Sexual tension.",
|
|
"Third base.",
|
|
"Racially-biased SAT questions.",
|
|
"Porn stars.",
|
|
"A Super Soaker™ full of cat pee.",
|
|
"Muhammed (Praise Be Unto Him).",
|
|
"Puberty.",
|
|
"A disappointing birthday party.",
|
|
"An erection that lasts longer than four hours.",
|
|
"White privilege.",
|
|
"Getting so angry that you pop a boner.",
|
|
"Wifely duties.",
|
|
"Two midgets shitting into a bucket.",
|
|
"Queefing.",
|
|
"Wiping her butt.",
|
|
"Golden showers.",
|
|
"Barack Obama.",
|
|
"Nazis.",
|
|
"A robust mongoloid.",
|
|
"An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist.",
|
|
"Getting drunk on mouthwash.",
|
|
"Lunchables™.",
|
|
"Women in yogurt commercials.",
|
|
"John Wilkes Booth.",
|
|
"Powerful thighs.",
|
|
"Mr. Clean, right behind you.",
|
|
"Multiple stab wounds.",
|
|
"Cybernetic enhancements.",
|
|
"Serfdom.",
|
|
"Kanye West.",
|
|
"Women's suffrage.",
|
|
"Children on leashes.",
|
|
"Harry Potter erotica.",
|
|
"The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.",
|
|
"Lance Armstrong's missing testicle.",
|
|
"Parting the Red Sea.",
|
|
"The Amish.",
|
|
"Dead babies.",
|
|
"Child beauty pageants.",
|
|
"AXE Body Spray.",
|
|
"Centaurs.",
|
|
"Copping a feel.",
|
|
"Grandma.",
|
|
"Famine.",
|
|
"The Trail of Tears.",
|
|
"The miracle of childbirth.",
|
|
"Finger painting.",
|
|
"A monkey smoking a cigar.",
|
|
"The Make-A-Wish® Foundation.",
|
|
"Anal beads.",
|
|
"The Force.",
|
|
"Kamikaze pilots.",
|
|
"Dry heaving.",
|
|
"Active listening.",
|
|
"Ghosts.",
|
|
"The Hustle.",
|
|
"Peeing a little bit.",
|
|
"Another goddamn vampire movie.",
|
|
"Shapeshifters.",
|
|
"The Care Bear Stare.",
|
|
"Hot cheese.",
|
|
"A mopey zoo lion.",
|
|
"A defective condom.",
|
|
"Teenage pregnancy.",
|
|
"A Bop It™.",
|
|
"Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.",
|
|
"Horrifying laser hair removal accidents.",
|
|
"Boogers.",
|
|
"Unfathomable stupidity.",
|
|
"Breaking out into song and dance.",
|
|
"Soup that is too hot.",
|
|
"Morgan Freeman's voice.",
|
|
"Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon.",
|
|
"MechaHitler.",
|
|
"Flying sex snakes.",
|
|
"The true meaning of Christmas.",
|
|
"My inner demons.",
|
|
"Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.",
|
|
"My vagina.",
|
|
"A homoerotic volleyball montage.",
|
|
"Actually taking candy from a baby.",
|
|
"Crystal meth.",
|
|
"Exactly what you'd expect.",
|
|
"Natural male enhancement.",
|
|
"Passive-aggressive Post-it notes.",
|
|
"Inappropriate yodeling.",
|
|
"Lady Gaga.",
|
|
"The Little Engine That Could.",
|
|
"Vigilante justice.",
|
|
"A death ray.",
|
|
"Poor life choices.",
|
|
"A gentle caress of the inner thigh.",
|
|
"Embryonic stem cells.",
|
|
"Nicolas Cage.",
|
|
"Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog.",
|
|
"Switching to Geico®.",
|
|
"The chronic.",
|
|
"Erectile dysfunction.",
|
|
"Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine®.",
|
|
"A bucket of fish heads.",
|
|
"50,000 volts straight to the nipples.",
|
|
"Being fat and stupid.",
|
|
"Hospice care.",
|
|
"A pyramid of severed heads.",
|
|
"Getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to Florida, and dying.",
|
|
"A subscription to Men's Fitness.",
|
|
"Crucifixion.",
|
|
"A micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties.",
|
|
"Some god-damn peace and quiet.",
|
|
"Used panties.",
|
|
"A tribe of warrior women.",
|
|
"The penny whistle solo from \"My Heart Will Go On.\"",
|
|
"An oversized lollipop.",
|
|
"Helplessly giggling at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis.",
|
|
"Not wearing pants.",
|
|
"Consensual sex.",
|
|
"Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.",
|
|
"Funky fresh rhymes.",
|
|
"The art of seduction.",
|
|
"The Devil himself.",
|
|
"Advice from a wise, old black man.",
|
|
"Destroying the evidence.",
|
|
"The light of a billion suns.",
|
|
"Wet dreams.",
|
|
"Synergistic management solutions.",
|
|
"Growing a pair.",
|
|
"Silence.",
|
|
"An M16 assault rifle.",
|
|
"Poopy diapers.",
|
|
"A live studio audience.",
|
|
"The Great Depression.",
|
|
"A spastic nerd.",
|
|
"Rush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body.",
|
|
"Tickling Sean Hannity, even after he tells you to stop.",
|
|
"Stalin.",
|
|
"Brown people.",
|
|
"Rehab.",
|
|
"Capturing Newt Gingrich and forcing him to dance in a monkey suit.",
|
|
"Battlefield amputations.",
|
|
"An uppercut.",
|
|
"Shiny objects.",
|
|
"An ugly face.",
|
|
"Menstrual rage.",
|
|
"A bitch slap.",
|
|
"One trillion dollars.",
|
|
"Chunks of dead prostitute.",
|
|
"The entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir.",
|
|
"The female orgasm.",
|
|
"Extremely tight pants.",
|
|
"The Boy Scouts of America.",
|
|
"Stormtroopers.",
|
|
"Throwing a virgin into a volcano."
|
|
]
|
|
} |